The FURY Of The Fourwheeler!!

This post will contain many things and people who have been mentioned before-- The kindly man, Stopper, who owns the farm next to Justin's parent's place; the mythical creature called a "Four Wheeler" which is an actual contraption that is used in the mountains and other rural areas to get around (think "golf cart for mountain men"); Justin, a handsome chap in a cowboy hat who moved to San Diego, CA from Bluff City, TN; Me, the author of this blog and the chick who is regularly visited by The Fuck-up Fairy (meaning that I am accident prone and that I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot); Trees. You know, I don't think I have said much about trees in this blog... trees are underrated and there should be a lot more of them in Southern California. Unfortunately, there is a really good reason that we don't have many trees here in San Diego-- they are made of wood and therefore, when they even sense a match or other flame, they catch on fire and burn down everything around them. Every part of Southern California that is not a mountain is technically considered desert so trees are not exactly native to the area. All of the trees that cover the parks, subdivisions, and suburbs are imported. A common favourite is the eucalyptus tree, an import from Australia. These trees are responsible for producing eucalyptus oil and, in the event of a fire, they go up like they are doused in, well, oil. Suffice to say, I am really impressed not only by the amount of indigenous trees in Northeast Tennessee, but also the residents' wanton use of wood for actual fires right out in the open! But, in an area that gets precipitation of some kind nearly every day all year 'round, it is not illegal to start and maintain fires as long as they don't get out of hand.
So... without further exposition...
Trees!

While we were visiting Stopper, he mentioned that he might come up to the house on his fourwheeler on New Year's Eve. I excitedly told him that I had never ridden a fourwheeler before. I didn't think I was going to get the chance to ride one, let alone that he'd actually let me ride his. But, as the best Christmas gift ever, he showed up with a smile and offered his bitchin' sweet ride to Justin and I so that we could use it to ascend the mountain behind Justin's parent's house and climb up on top of Fox Rock to take in the beautiful view.
This is Stopper on the fourwheeler. He is about to take Justin on a tandem practice run so that his memories of riding fourwheelers will come back and he won't try to kill us when we ascend the little mountain.

The running joke throughout the whole trip was that Ronnie was going to get Justin to cut "fahr wood". I kept offering to help but Ronnie kept ignoring me and yelling at Justin and laughing. I don't think he wanted help as much as he wanted to give his son a really hard time.

This is a photo of Justin plowing the fourwheeler into the back of our rental car. 

Nah, it's actually a photo of him getting reacquainted with the controls while Stopper explains the finer points of mountain climbing in a really awesome vehicle lookithosetires!!!

Seriously-- I want one. If you've never ridden one of these then your life is incomplete here's your test back go find somewhere like Mammoth Mountain or Idylwyld to fill in the blank parts that should have contained a fourwheeler. 

This is a picture of a REAL bonfire, guys. Included are evergreen branches that Kim said something about making into wreaths... we never got a chance to though because we always ran into the problem of precipitation. Also, they didn't plant that grass there it just sprang up on it's own. Tennessee is a crazy wonderland!

I watched Ronnie shovel dog poo while Stopper continued to refamiliarize Justin with the fourwheeler. As I found out later, this was really the only time that he was going to be able to talk to Justin until they reached their turnaround point because fourwheelers are loud.
I made fun of Ronnie's pink axe (leaning against the pile of firewood) but he just brushed it off like water saying "It was red when I got it". 

Justin and Stopper proceeded to abandon me with Ronnie for the next thirty minutes. I even got cold enough to go inside for a little while.

When they returned, Stopper told me to lean forward with the inclines and back with the declines. I found that riding bitch on a fourwheeler is not only fun, but really cold and really bumpy. When we had ridden as far up as we could go, we got off and took pictures of the valley below us. 

But there was still quite a lot of ground to cover on foot. I had no trouble with this at all despite having a broken ankle... I was just slower than Justin was. 

This is the view from higher up. Notice the copious amounts of trees.

Climbing... climbing...

I like taking photos of people taking photos of things. The only thing better than that is taking a photo of a person who is taking a photo of you taking a photo of them taking a photo of you taking............

About here is where a fairly large branch got caught in the gaping maw of my medical boot. I ripped the branch up from the ground and used it as a walking stick both up and down our ascension of the actual Rock called Fox, which is that outcropping of granite up ahead. 

The branch is not pictured-- that is just a log that I thought looked cool. 

Fox Rock is quite steep. It is not named as such because it looks like a fox but because it is riddled with dens and warrens that actually house foxes.

Justin and I had to wear ski gloves to ride the fourwheeler because it was so cold. 

Those are seed pods and not bats.

The view of the valley from the almost-top.

More trees! Scientific study has shown that nature occurs in fractals. Look at this picture and then look Science in the face and tell it that it's wrong; I dares ya. 

This is steeper than it looks. One false move and you're rolling down into the valley through some very branchy trees.

The summit! We were not as high up as the mountains in the distance but we were pretty far up there to be able to look that far out into the distance. Everything is covered in trees, you know.

A view of the sky.

I now turned my camera to the other side of the valley in search of the Bristol Motor Speedway which is alarmingly close by.

Okay so look through the trees in the middle but slightly to the leftish... the Speedway is where that roundy looking tan clearing is. If you can't pick it out then you should have come on vacation with us because it looked awesome! I wish I had seen it from up on Fox Rock at night!

Justin and I descended the ridge. I was encumbered by my medical boot that did not allow me to use my still very broken ankle so he stopped every so often and waited for me. The stick served its purpose as a guide down the steep slope of the ridge and saved me from several falls-- I honestly would have had to take Justin's hand for most of the descent and that would have been very much impossible because of the way that the rocks are situated; it is very much a single file climb down with little margin for error.
When we returned, several other people had showed up to the house were all gathering around both inside and out. Stopper met us with the kind of big warm-hearted smile that only a man like him can give. I hugged him and thanked him for the opportunity to experience the fury of the fourwheeler! 
Woohoo!

Korean Taco House

We are going to back-track a little bit for a few posts since not all of my pictures got put online in the same order in which they happened... entirely my fault, that.

Okay, so, just to preface this post... there is no such thing as a "taco house". There are taco stands... taco shacks... taco carts... and, most importantly, taco shops. Saying that a "taco house" exists is the same as eluding to the existence of a "taco mansion" or "taco country club", both of which we all know do not exist either and, if they do, they are the Loch Ness Monsters of the Mexican food world-- we wish they existed, some of us in some way need for them to exist, while others know that they don't exist but tell others that they totally do. The third type of person is a known in California as a "jerkbag".

Now to continue with our poorly scheduled programme!

Johnson City is known for more than just having a hilarious name-- it also has a lot of really cool, some freaky, and some just downright insane places.

These are some of them: 

This is a brick-oven pizza place that I've never eaten at but that I used to drive past all the time when I was bummin' around JC in the summer of 2009. It must be pretty good because it is currently 2014 and it is still there. The black circles that connect the posts in front of the restaurant are the opposite of Unidentified Flying Objects-- they're old records!

This intersection represents what is thought of as the main part of town. It really isn't but it used to be a long time ago. Justin has a photograph that he restored of one of these streets during the time that many of these now crumbling buildings (but don't worry-- they're fixing them! I saw!) were brand new.

justingreene.deviantart.com

I know it's on there somewhere. While you're there check out the rest of his art because it's really amazing and he doesn't give himself enough credit for it! 

Here is another view of Scratch with an even better view of the mutilated 45's that surround its patio.

For real, whoever thought up the idea of using old records like this should both be awarded something for creativity and shamed for... messing up... records. Dude, just don't mess up old records! I'm going to park next time we visit and if there's a Crosby, Stills and Nash vinyl up there I'm going to cry.

This, California Beach Dwellers, is a train track. Notice how there is a metal arm on the right hand side of the photo-- do not ever park under that thing ohmygodswhydoyouguysdothat?! 

Notice the street names. Giggle. Keep driving.

I don't know what this building is but if it has a snowflake on it (which it does; it's kind of blurry but it's attached to that green lamp post) then it must be cool. 

I think this building got burnt from the inside out? Maybe? I'm not entirely sure what's going on here.

Everyone take out your phones and dial the number on the Korean Taco House. When they answer, demand a concise explanation because I'm honestly not entirely sure what is going on here either.

All of this "wait.. what? Why?!" is why I loved Johnson City.

Pup Tent

I bought this little cat tent thing for Marcy while we were still living across the street with my parents and our dream house was just a bunch of rotten termite-eaten boards that were being taken to the dump.
She JUST NOW discovered that it can be used for more than just a place to stuff all of her toys-- and she has a lot of toys. 

That flat tannish thing is a rawhide chew. I think it's chicken flavoured... I've never tried it... Justin is the chicken expert in the family since that's, like, all he ever eats.

Marcy is very meticulous when she hides things. In this photo she is burying the rawhide chew beneath a formerly stuffed bear and an elephant-shaped rope.

Such Great Heights

This is what it looks like when you have a window seat for five hours and then, as you are threatened with the possibility of being redirected to LAX, you hastily snap a picture of San Diego as though you're never ever going to see it again. 

San Diego (mostly fog-engulfed) from the air. 

Flea Market

Every weekend there is a Flea Market in Bristol. It plays host to a lot of different kinds of people from many walks of life... but most of those walks have ended here at the tin-roofed shelters that enclose the majority of the Market. 

I suggested that one of our friends get a stall in the Flea Market but to that he said drily: "fuck the flea market" (you know who you are, you awful thing lol)

I, honestly, disagree. I love markets! And this one doesn't even have fleas!

These are the tin-roofed shelters that I mentioned.

When we passed this sign I wondered aloud about how much money I would save buying a car out here and then having it shipped out to SoCal. It costs a thousand dollars (roughly) to ship a car from nearly one side of the country to the other but, with how expensive things are out here, it might be more prudent to get a police seized vehicle at an auction out in Tennessee that would probably only have dirt and maybe some dried deer guts in the boot rather than some gum wrappers and possible-blood-stains-from-an-unknown-source-did-I-mention-that-this-truck-came-from-L.A? I think you kinda know what you're getting into when you buy a used car at a used car auction in certain areas and I will take deer jerky in the trunk over random blood-or-is-that-coffee? stains on anything.

Marcy cowers from her near-defeat in a contest of cuteness.
Dont worry, the other dog was disqualified for using fur-extensions.

Confident from her earlier win, Marceline takes on a tea cup Yorkie.

Johnny Bravo of Cartoon Network fame says stuff on the top of a car!

[Insert lewd joke about roosters here]

It's Rooster Cogburn!
No?
Psh, what do you even know.

I came upon Justin laughing on a staircase with the dog in his possession.
Nothing good could have come from this.

He thought that it was hilarious that Marcy was all "Oh my gawd you can see through the stairs! Oh my gawd I could fall through this thing at any moment!". I made him pick her up because dude, she was so cute and, at the same time, so sad.

We had a lot of fun at the Flea Market! I spent copious amounts of money on lapel pins and buttons for my collection of insane buttons on my purse. I think I actually spent $50 on buttons but that's still a lot...
I also bought a My Little Pony fleece blanket and pillow set, a Rarity pony doll, and some pun'kin bread. Justin bought the little camo harness that Marcy is wearing in the picture and maybe some other things but who's counting? ;-)

Diners, Gas Stations and Dives

Hickory Tree is, as I mentioned in the post about Stopper, it's own miniscule town within the tiny town of Bluff City (Established nine years before the Declaration of Independence was signed-- 1767). This is, miraculously, not the only diner in town! But hell if it doesn't serve up some amazing food. It may not look like much but it does deserve to be visited at least a few times no matter how many days we are staying in town with Justin's parents. It is only a quarter mile (at best) away from their farm. 

From left to right: The woman who made our food; Justin; Justin's father, Ronnie; some locals; a guy whose name I have forgotten but who was really interested in Jewish Numerology and taught at a local Christian school of some kind-- he's the one in the red jacket and ear-flap hat. He was very nice and, although he lost me at some point when he was trying to explain the significance of the points on the Star of David, I did enjoy talking to him. I always like talking to people, despite it being one of Justin's major pet peeves about me. I really don't know how to end conversations so he has a right to get peeved when his girlfriend talks to a complete stranger for thirty minutes and makes us late for a party... Yeah, I'm that girlfriend lol 

This is a different joint. It is in Bluff City proper and has a lot more variety than the diner in Hickory Tree because it is an actual diner and not a make-shift diner-that-is-actually-a-gas-station. But anyway, this picture deserves a little explaining:
The red-haired waitress is writing the daily dessert specials on the whiteboard. Earlier she brought over that tray that is covered in tin foil-- inside of it is an entire tray of peanut butter fudge! Homemade!
Justin is explaining his new Android smart phone to his grandfather (who is sitting to the right out of view). 

The one dollar bill beneath the tray of fudge is a dollar that I found when I moved the napkin holder over. It was someone's tip so I put it out for the right waitress to find.

And speaking of the napkin holder... this is actually the very seat that Justin's grandfather, Dana, sits at. Every day. It pretty much marks his seat with an "X".

That is grandpa Dana (Papaw) who is enjoying a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich along with some fried creamed corn. Oh my GOD is friend creamed corn good! 

This is a nicer picture of Justin. I like this picture. He's a freakin' handsome guy.

And this is a better picture of the napkin holder with Dana's picture in it. I think that this is the coolest way to save a seat for someone :-D

Lunch With Lesa

Justin has many aunts and uncles and one of our favourites is Lesa, a Registered Nurse (one of my favourite professional-types to get to know!). She is married to Jeff and they have a beautiful pale white but unfortunately cancer-ridden dog who has been aptly named Diamond.
Lesa cares a great deal for Justin and has, in turn, gotten to know me since he and I have been seriously involved since 2005. She is a lovely woman and she invited us out for lunch at a fun place that we, unfortunately do not have here in SoCal called O'Charley's. We sat and talked over hushpuppies, baked potato soup, chicken tenders and sweet tea on one of the last days that we were in town. It was a wonderful way to both catch up on our own and to say goodbye until the next time that Justin and I could find our way out to see the family.
Not-so-secretly, I am hoping that we can go back out for a week or so at the end of February so for Justin's thirty-something birthday... I stopped counting after he turned thirty lol

Marvel at the EXCITEMENT of the front door of O'Charley's! 

GASP as you watch Justin walk Marcy in the grass out along the parking lot!

Diamond is a really really sweet dog. This is Diamond and her mom, Lesa. Diamond just had surgery on her head to remove a tumor. She has a bandage across her neck because it keeps slipping off of her head.

You can really tell that Lesa is Kim's sister :-) They look so alike!

"Hug your aunt, Justin!" -- Me

"Say O'Charley's!"
I'm always sad to see someone for the last time while we are on a trip. It is nice to know that they will, the Fates willing, be around for our next trip. 

I took some pictures of landmarks on the way back to the house. We were technically in Virginia, I think... I never know if we are in Virginia, Tennessee, or North Carolina when we drive for twenty minutes or more.
This is a really long train. There are a lot of really long trains in the area. When I moved to Tennessee for the summer of 2009, we lived spittin' distance from the tracks. Every night the conductor would blow the horn-- sometimes as late as 4am. You knew the really jerk-ass conductors because they were the ones who would blow it unnecessarily long and loud at four in the morning WHY?!

I think that is actually the denomination, not the actual first Christian church ever. Although, it looks like it could have been...